Posts by Gulf Coaster

23

Undecided

by Disassociated Lady 2 in

i have recently been disfellowshipped (after being reinstated in march).

i saw a group of jws gathered in the town car park yesterday.

they seemed startled when they recognised my car and talked amongst themselves giving one another a satisfied grin!

Gulf Coaster

I got reinstated in March after being out 26 years. My Dad died last year and I promised him I would go back. My husband and I divorced in 2012 and I would have been homeless if a friend had not taken me into her home. I am still living there and the elders wanted me to move out as she is a Witch/Wisewoman. They said they would not have reinstated me had they known exactly who the lady was. Anyway I cannot afford to move out and get a place of my own, not them or my JW family offered me any help, so they disfellowshipped me.

You are a good person with a beautiful heart. You went back for your dad. That was a huge sacrifice, which I'm not sure I could have made myself. You did it because you loved your dad. You did it. He's gone, content he was going to see you again in the new system, or whatever their fantasy is called. Done. That's all that counts. All those other pathetic, back-stabbing, brainwashed, nobody-to-you narcissists .... pfft! Why waste your time on them? Have a wonderful life away from that stinking cesspool of a toxic environment.

44

Why Do People Become Jehovah's Witnesses?

by minimus in

jw
friends

besides being raised in the religion , why do people become jws?

.

Gulf Coaster

I was dragged in by my mother at age 9 when she converted. My dad went to a few meetings but decided it wasn't his thing. He didn't provide any resistance to my mother practicing her new "religion", to keep the peace. That rankled my mother as she's a control freak so would not allow me, my sister or brother such a choice. Any lack of enthusiasm for going to meetings, out in FS, etc. was met with some combination of verbal, emotional or physical abuse. I learned much later, from my dad, that whenever he asked her to give us the choice to not go to meetings, etc., she threatened him with leaving him and taking us kids away from him where he'd never see us again. I know my mother felt this was a perfectly righteous threat because it was da troof and my dad was a "spiritual danger".

Looking back, I know what she liked best about the JWs was all the severe limitations and restrictions. The 1950's old-school way of dress, morals, attitudes and lifestyle. It was the 70s, the era of long-haired, dirty hippies with their immoral lifestyle and drugs, which my mother loathed and lived in fear of us kids getting involved in. So it was hell for my sister and I (especially my sister who was 16). As teens, we both looked like women in their 40s with our hopelessly old-fashioned dresses and hairstyles. My sister ended up running off at age 19 with the first non-JW man who showed interest in her. He ended up being a decent bloke, luckily for her.

One by one, us three kids all left her nightmare reality because none of us really believed. We all just went through the motions to keep our mother from beating us, leaving as soon as we could escape. She divorced my dad because of his "spiritual danger" to her. She's still in, at 87, pining for her paradise. Any conversation with her has her going on and on about how immoral and disgusting the world is these days, something I've heard since I was 9 years old. That's obviously one massive hang-up for her, which the JWs provided answers for.

23

Undecided

by Disassociated Lady 2 in

i have recently been disfellowshipped (after being reinstated in march).

i saw a group of jws gathered in the town car park yesterday.

they seemed startled when they recognised my car and talked amongst themselves giving one another a satisfied grin!

Gulf Coaster

It's all very "high school", like they think they're the cool group or the Mean Girls and you're the outcast nerd. I left that when I graduated HS in 1979 and tend to stay away from any person or group who still hangs onto that juvenile behaviour.

By going back, they'll smugly think you're "coming crawling back" to them because you believe it's the troof, thereby pumping up their already delusionally grand opinion of themselves & their cult. They're not worth knowing or wasting your time on. Best way to get back at them is to make a successful, happy life for yourself.

29

Lying In Wait At a Bed & Breakfast

by Cold Steel in

a few years ago while traveling in the northeast, my wife and i stopped in new haven, connecticut, at a b&b we'd reserved for the night.

no sooner had we unpacked and moved into the living room for tea and treats, our hosts began to talk about religion, and we learned they were jehovah's witnesses.

i didn't mind so much, but my wife was outraged that our hosts would use their place of business as a launching point to do missionary work.

Gulf Coaster

That's completely inappropriate. We stayed at a B&B in Utah and it was obvious the couple running the place were staunch Mormons but they never put their religious beliefs in our face like that.

It's just the narcissist JW mindset. They believe they're right, the best, the chosen, therefore showing wordlies more than basic respect is beneath them. I remember feeling that way myself, years ago. I still cringe at the memory.

43

Help Please - Finding It Hard Adjusting To The Real World

by pale.emperor in

im asking for you guys help in a phase im going through right now.

im sure it’ll pass but id appreciate your advice..

born in, my family consists of mum, dad, two brothers and two sisters.

Gulf Coaster

I wasn't born in but when I left I felt the same way you do. I was in from age 9 to 20, probably the most important years for developing the ability to make friends. When I left I didn't know how to make friends so the loneliness was sometimes overwhelming. I became very shy and went into my shell, unable to see the various offers of friendship at first due to the unhealthy mistrust of "worldly" people that was enforced on me all those years. I always thought were some ulterior motive when instead they just wanted to hang out or include me in their lives.

Luckily I woke up due to a persistent acquaintance who once point blank asked me why I was such a snob. I was shocked & hurt she'd say that but I immediately understood where she was coming from. I wasn't a snob, I was still wearing that smug JW persona that looks down on worldly people as evil, debauched and imminent roadkill when the Big A came down the road, despite not believing in that anymore. I realized I was treating certain people that way - people who were a bit "out there", alternative and different. Good people. It's frightening how much damage the cult causes us.

Get out there and do things - group things, like casual adult sports teams, hobbies, running clubs, night courses at the community centre, book clubs, whatever. Anything that gets you amongst lots of people. A smile and a casual conversation can be sometimes all you need. Of course, there'll be people you won't like or won't like you, that's par for the course.

As far as finding your non-JW cousins - try Facebook. Enter their names and you might find them.

46

"You will never grow old in this present system of things" -- some campaign tools

by FatFreek 2005 in

i am approaching 76 years old.

i can clearly recall that awake!

statement and similar during the pre-1975 hype -- "staying alive in '75", et al.

Gulf Coaster

It was a different era, so that doom-and-gloom message could be believed more easily than today. Even though I was an unwilling JW (mother converted when I was 9), I still remember the feeling of foreboding, excitement and near-hysteria at the KH and couldn't help but feel a bit nervous. "What if they're right?" I remember asking myself. I was 14 in 1975. When it didn't happen, it was the beginning of the end for me because it confirmed for me that it was all BS, despite my mother's insistence it was not. I got out as soon as I could, when I was 20.

Still, the whole "the end is near" thing impacted me negatively. My mother dictated my education direction. Even though I was quite academically inclined, she insisted I choose high school subjects that weren't too academically vigorous, that left office admin jobs as my only option. Absolutely no university for me because "it was just around the corner". I managed fairly well, despite that but I could have done better with that degree.

17

Not too my son...

by The Rebel in

jw
friends

will i say " orlando, your hair is too long, and needs to be cut short" and never will i say " orlando, invites to birthday parties can't be accepted".

and i will buy my son books he wants to read, books that bring him happiness, and that he understands.

and by so doing, i hope he will acquire happy memories of his childhood, so that the sensitive and delicate, in him will be allowed to grow.

Gulf Coaster

One "good" thing about being raised in the miserable life of a JW as a kid was that it made me realize, once I had kids of my own and was long gone from the cult, was how crucial it was for children to have a pure, carefree, joyful, innocent childhood free from fear and drudgery.

My mother dragged us into that cult when I was 9, so I had memories of what the good life was like before the cult made life dreary and grim. I hated the JW life and left as soon as I could, at age 20.

When I had kids, I made a huge effort to make their lives fun. I might have overcompensated sometimes by decorating the bejesus out of my home at Christmas, Halloween, Easter, etc. But I loved the joy that my kids got out of it and it was like I was reliving the stolen years of my childhood vicariously through them.

27

My Lawyers Letter To The Elders

by pale.emperor in

for those of you that asked, below is a copy of my solicitors letter to the elders in my old congregation.

he sent a similar one directly to bethel and a medical directive to my daughters gp to go on her medical records that i have already given permission for her to have a blood transfusion should she need one:.

.

Gulf Coaster

My mother had shunned me for several years after I left her cult but after I had kids, she suddenly got all friendly and wanted to start up contact again, especially with her two grandkids. We told her we didn't want her talking about her religion to the kids. She went behind our backs when babysitting them one day, showing them such illustrations. My son was about 6 and it didn't seem to bother him. My daughter was about 4 and it affected her badly, frightening her to the point where she fretted about us dying in such a horrific manner, breaking into tears at times. She also started wetting her bed and having nightmares, it was so stressful for her.

So you can't say it's no big deal, that it's just like the comics or movies. All kids are different, some can't process such heavy info, some are more sensitive than others. My daughter is such a sensitive little soul, always has been, and is today at age 28. JWs use them to brainwash kids and frighten them into obeying the cult. It's sick.

42

JW broadcasting and doubts

by Colinconfused in

hi everyone to cut a long story short, ive been away from the meetings for over 10 years.

i recently reconnected with the congregation and started a study.

cant get my head around all the changes and jw broadcasting.

Gulf Coaster

Why have your children live that joyless, isolated, highly-restrictive, fear-mongering, guilt-ridden existence? All to teach them about creation and some deity who is supposed to slaughter billions of people minding their own business?

No birthday celebrations for them, no going to birthday parties for their friends, no Christmas, no Easter, no Halloween fun, no school holiday artwork or parties, no outside friends, no joining sports teams or groups like the Guides and Scouts, no this, no that, no everything fun and interesting, no no no no ...

I was in from 9 to 20 and to this day I resent the theft of what should have been the most carefree, innocent and fun years of my life. Instead I got drudgery, isolation, bullying, excruciating boredom and soul-crushing guilt.

32

Poor Sisters

by Darryl in

jw
friends

i really felt for you sisters i mean i really did.

when you showed up at the sunday meeting and found out the subject of the talk was going to be -and i can't quite remember the exact wording- but something to the effect of marriage and headship, or honoring and obeying your husband, or something like that how many of you wanted to jump right back in your car and head home.

i mean 45 straight minutes of beating down you poor ladies and telling you that you are not worthy of making one decision, taking the lead in anything, don't question the man be obedient and keep quiet.

Gulf Coaster

By the time I got to my mid-teens I was mentally out and plotting my escape, so these demeaning talks used to make me cringe and seethe inside. This was the late 70s and the old sexist ways were falling to the wayside and had been for years but the JWs desperately clung to the old Leave it to Beaver days. I have no idea how other women in the KH felt about it because I didn't dare discuss my concerns or disagreement with anyone. It was head-down, pretend and endure for about 4 years until I left. Who knows? Maybe other women (and men) also felt like puking at these talks but thanks Darryl for your sympathy.